Chasing the Elusive
We have this low ropes element at our camp called the Whale Watch. The goal is to get the whole team up on this large teetering platform without any of the corners of the platform touching the ground. As I stand there and take pictures summer after summer, group after group, I always see the same scenario play out. The group starts out strong thinking this won’t be so hard, but with each person attempting to step on the platform, the balance gets thrown off. With this, the frustration grows and the groaning gets louder. They try and try again to keep the balance only to have one person shift wrong and they all have to start over. But finally, after many failed attempts (and often heaps of grace from the summer staff leading the element!) there is always this joyful celebration of having finally done it! The relief of having pushed through the absolutely maddening process of constant failure to the other side is exhilarating!
For as long as I can remember I have been chasing the elusive balance in my life.
I usually tell myself I never really find it because life is always changing. The seasons of motherhood coupled with the constant revolving door of camp ministry keep things from never truly finding a pattern long enough to feel in balance. It’s the struggle of stepping on the platform and anticipating a dip here only to be receiving an unexpected dip there and the corners of life keep touching the ground, bringing me down with it. That relief of having found the balance to complete the element is never really attained.
A friend recently surprised me when she asked me how I keep everything in balance, I really seem to have it together, she said. I about spit my coffee in her face because the absolute last thing I feel is balanced. I went on to explain that while I appreciate her positive perception of me I have never felt I have attained the balance; it’s always just out of my grasp. Then something came out of my mouth I didn’t know to be true until I heard it with my own ears. I said, “I can’t ever find the balance no matter how hard I try, but I’ve found that when my heart is at home in Jesus, all the imbalance doesn’t overwhelm me.” True to the core, even if I didnt’ see it until that very moment.
We chase any number of things in this life, but we often miss the reality that is right in front of us. Only by making time to know, listen to, and be grounded in Christ can we discover the answer to all that we struggle with. Our lives flow out of our connection with Jesus. We think it should be more than this so we don't chase Him. Reminds me of when my boys are looking for something and I tell them right where it is and they look “their hardest” but don’t find it. I walk over, pick it up (from out in the open) right where I said it was and hand it to them. They give me a half-grin because they know they should’ve seen it; they know they didn’t put their heart into it. And so they miss what’s right under their noses, what’s right in front of their faces. Same is true for me too often, and maybe you too? I often miss what God is telling me is right in front of my face; sometimes because I don’t really wanna put the effort into Him; sometimes because I’m not sure He’ll be enough.
A few things to let simmer in the heart and mind this week:
Our lives are the constant ebb and flow of much that overwhelms. Finding balance is an illusion. BUT, Jesus is the stability of our times.
Maybe we feel the furthest thing from having certain parts of our lives in order, but other people looking in might see it differently. This is usually because they are struggling with something. We can be an encouragement right there in that place even when we don't think we are qualified to do so. Our struggles can bear fruit. Be willing to share the grace of God with someone else this week. Small things are big things.
Jesus said to Abide in Him. Uncomplicated. Straightforward. Crystal Clear. Simple. But the hardest thing ever. When you keep moving toward and finally make a habit of making Jesus your home, the rest of your life and pursuits fall where they need to.
Whether you find yourself on the Whale Watch Elements in your life or a completely different challenge altogether, there’s only one thing that will make the difference — run to the garden of your heart and sit with your kind and gracious God. Making Him the center changes everything.
If you’d like to spend a bit more time in reflection and in the Word, download this week’s Garden Moment Document.
